Essay on whether to divorce or stay married

There’s a thoughtful essay by William Wright in the Cleveland Daily Banner. Not everyone would agree with the insistence on marriage over divorce, perhaps influenced by religious views, but it’s hard to argue with the impact on many relationships of our modern consumer culture:

“We live in a world where everything is disposable — diapers, razors, cameras, dishes, spoons, cups — even marriages. If something is not working properly it’s easier to get rid of it and get a new one than to try fixing it. How convenient. But how tragic for families!”

As Margaret Atwood once said, “A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there is less of you.” Wright continues on this theme:

“Most people I know who divorced agree on these things: They regret getting divorced, wish they had tried harder and never fully got over the death of their marriage. Why do you suppose that is true for so many people?

Could it be couples often realize too late that divorce simply exchanges one set of problems for another? Everything from living arrangements to financial and social status changes, and rarely for the better. Even with a new mate they discover a whole new set of problems since no one is as wonderful as they seem when making a first impression.

According to divorce statistics, second and third marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. The theory is that people who haven’t succeeded the first time are more likely to repeat the same mistakes the second or third time around. Could it be couples in trouble need to slow down and evaluate their roles in the possible demise of their marriage and ask what can they do to change things?”

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