How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage


Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option–the Controlled Separation (CS). Should I Stay or Go? explains CS and shows how it can be used as a tool to help couples make the best decision for both partners.

Lee Raffel is a practicing psychotherapist for over 35 years. She is a published poet and author of I Hate Conflict (McGraw-Hill, 2008) and Should I Stay or Go? How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage (McGraw-Hill, 1999). Lee is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Board Certified Diplomate in Psychotherapy and Behavioral Medicine, and relationship coach, mediator and educator.

A recognized expert on marriage and interpersonal relationships, Lee has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning New York, hosted a radio show, and appeared on ABC, NBC, CBS nationwide addressing Controlled Separation. She also has been featured in Psychotherapy Networker, O – The Oprah Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, Ladies’ Home Journal, The Chicago Tribune, The Los Angeles Times, Chicago Sun-Times, and radio and newsprint nationwide. Lee has also presented a radio show titled Should I Stay or Go? Straight Talk About Troubled Relationships.

Lee, proprietor of Awareness Counseling Services, Inc., maintains a private practice and as founder of Fresh Perspectives Training InstituteĀ®, presents numerous programs on the complexity and possibilities inherent in conflicted relationships. She also is available to offer workshops on Controlled Separation, and troubled family relationships. Her provocative insights and timely strategies have been utilized nationally and internationally for people at risk of destroying their meaningful connections.

Lee says that much of what she has learned about healthy relationships has come from sharing 24 years with her husband, Mark, who initiated much laughter and made every day a fruitful experience even when there was sorrow. Mark died suddenly on December 12, 2000. Since then, Lee continues to reinvent herself over and over again.


Read more about Lee at

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One Comment

  1. Dan Heins
    Posted June 22, 2011 at 4:39 am | Permalink

    I think the book is a scourge upon the collective mind. It promotes and validates childish wishing, than promises to fulfill those wishes with a have your cake and eat it too solution.Couples having these agonizing decisions should reject the content of this book.